#shannon hawke

[queer-book-character-tournament]

Characters, book, and author names under the cut

Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood - The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

Will Darling/Kim Secretan - The Will Darling Adventures by K.J. Charles 

Hawk Sunday/Jack Wyatt - Cherry Picked by May Archer

Paige Mahoney/Arcturus Mesarthim - The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon 

[shrinkthisviolet]

talk shop tuesday - you once mentioned the 'Robby Lawrence' AU and I would love love love to know more about that, and how Johnny having been present in Robby's life would change things in this 'verse (beyond Robby getting some decent parental figures in his life for once).

Oooh there’s a deep cut 😅 last time I talked about that was a couple years back! Here’s the initial post about it if anyone’s curious.

This is also a bit longer than I expected (even tho I only hit some of the highlights 😅) so the rest is below the cut:

So Johnny being more present in Robby's life would also probably improve things with Shannon, because really, I think a lot of Robby's issues with Shannon had to do with the fact that she was trying her level best but she wasn't prepared to be a single mom. She was relying on Johnny to help parent Robby, and of course that never happened in canon—Johnny kept letting her down. But with Johnny more present, I think the two of them would be on better terms with each other and with Robby! They wouldn't be together as a couple, but they're co-parents and friends, and they love Robby, and Robby loves them. So from the jump, there's a more stable relationship.

Also, I mentioned he meets Sam in elementary school* and they strike up a friendship. A one-sided, Shirbert-esque academic rivalry at first (serious from Sam's end, not so much from Robby's end), but then it becomes more playful over time. As a result, Robby also has Daniel and Amanda as...maybe or maybe not parental figures, but definitely trusted adults. Especially Amanda—I love how much those two just get each other, and of course I gotta keep it in this AU idea.

Robby gets pulled into the Miyagi-Do stuff much earlier—Johnny's wary about it, but he and Daniel have resolved their differences by now (especially since Shannon and Amanda are best friends and keep glaring at them whenever they start fighting, so they've been lovingly bullied into reconciling), so Johnny trusts Daniel with Robby. And he sees Robby flourish—he was always a fairly happy kid since meeting Sam, but with karate in particular, it's like a sort of calmness follows him everywhere. Johnny even sits in on a few of Robby's classes, claiming it's to "keep an eye on them", but everyone knows it's because Johnny's kinda warming up to the idea of this more meditative style of karate. (It helps him too. He and Robby practice sparring, and they develop an in-between style of CK and MD together.)

Obviously Robby would be friends with Sam's friends too...well, at least Aisha, Demetri, and Eli**. Yasmine and Moon would rub him the wrong way, and he and Sam would argue a lot about it. Aisha, Demetri, and Eli cut ties with her, and Robby does too, telling Sam, "the girl I knew, who kept trying to befriend the loner new kid and didn't stop until it worked, would never side with the girl bullying her best friend. Come talk to me when you've gotten your head on straight." (Though of course, Robby jumps to her defense when the Kyler rumors pop up, frowning at Aisha when she says something snide. Miguel attacks Kyler before Robby can, and for that, Robby can admit the new kid is pretty cool.)

And he and Anthony would have kind of a...not a brotherly relationship at first, but a tentative respect relationship, that sort of evolves into a brotherly one over the years (when Anthony starts bullying Kenny, Robby's the one who drags him away by the ear and demands to know "what the hell do you think you're doing, Anthony LaRusso" and nips that rivalry in the bud, thank you very much)

Hmm what else...oh! Johnny opens Cobra Kai at the start of canon, Daniel gets pissed about it, but not as pissed as canon—remember, he knows Johnny here. So instead of doing something underhanded, he calls Johnny and demands to know what he thinks he's doing. Reminds him what Kreese did. Johnny snaps back that he doesn't need a reminder, and that it's a free country, he can do what he wants. Daniel has never spoken about KK3, but Johnny's always suspected there was something else, something about '85 that Daniel's not mentioning. He pries a little, but Daniel gets defensive. Tells him to be careful and hangs up. So that part's just slightly changed—it just means no underhanded tricks, more communication for them.

Oh and ofc regarding the romances, there wouldn't be any love triangle nonsense. Miguel would be jealous of Robby from way earlier (because remember, Robby jumped to Sam's verbal defense first), but Robby would say "no, dude, she's like a sister/best friend to me. Ask her out if you want. But...if my dad tries to give you advice, maybe take it with a grain of salt." (Miguel takes her to golf 'n stuff anyway, and Robby figures that's for the best. Casual is better for a first date). And of course with no jealousy nonsense, Miguel and Sam don't break up, so there's no Sam/Robby and Miguel/Tory in s2.

And, actually, Robby and Aisha are both the first to befriend Tory. Now, of course, Robby and Aisha both feel similarly about Sam—they both cut ties with her at the same time and both made amends with her at the same time. But also, Robby's always been the type to defuse the tension (this is a canon trait of his, which would likely carry over more here due to Daniel, Amanda, and Shannon's collective influences). So when Sam starts making accusations and Tory starts getting heated, Robby steps between them, tells them both to calm down, and tells Sam to explain what's going on. So she does, and Robby ropes Tory and Aisha into helping Sam (doesn't take too much convincing for the latter—remember, Aisha forgave Sam in 1x10). They find Amanda's wallet, all is well...and Sam apologizes for making assumptions. Tory's not sure what to make of her, so she just nods (as a result of this, they become friends much earlier).

There's probably more that would change, but these are the big things I can think of 😅 I...did not expect to get hooked on this idea again, but I so am. Thanks for the ask!

*Sam's an Encino kid, but she goes to public school, as Robby probably would too. So that's where they meet.

**Demetri, Eli, Aisha, and Sam all being childhood best friends is a long-standing headcanon of mine, so ofc it would be present here

talk shop tuesday!

[gameraboy2]

The Gun Hawk by Shannon Stirnweis

[katlandry]

It’s literally canon that Barb was in band, so Robin definitely knew her (I know most of us make that canon bc of Rebel Robin, but RR isn’t *technically* canon with the show) and I’d like to think they’d likely be friends so in conclusion, pls let Nancy & Robin have a conversation about Barb in S5

[gaysebastianvael]

The Hawke-Amell cousins in dollmakers again, of course~

Clover Amell | Shannon Amell Taliesin Hawke | Royce Hawke

Bonus Bethany and Carver:

[erstwhile-punk-guerito]

[wondereads]

Weekly Reading Update (09/04/23)

Reviews and thoughts under the cut

Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater (9/10)

It is truly remarkable that despite the characters beings older and with a mostly new cast how similar the tone and writing is in this book to The Raven Cycle. It's really interesting to read a Ronan-focused story since even though he was a major character in TRC, this provides so much more insight into him. I really like Jordan, she's probably my favorite new character, my opinion of Declan has improved exponentially, and I'm hesitant about Hennessey. I'm not as enthralled as I was with TRC, but I'm definitely interested.

Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint by Sing Shong (10/10)

This book took me almost a year to read, and it was worth it. It seems like a typical fantasy webnovel with a completely overpowered protagonist, but there is so much more to this story. Kim Dokja has to be one of the most unreliable narrators I've ever read. He goes to extreme lengths to hide his plans and feelings, not just from the other characters but also the reader. There are so many strong themes throughout this book, and the side characters are extremely well characterized. I find Dokja's relationship with his mother particularly interesting. Then, of course, there's him and Yoo Joonghyuk, who are supposedly platonic, but they're "companions in life and death" and ridiculously in tune with one another and guess who kills Dokja (don't worry, he dies on the regular) when he's supposed to be killed by the person he loves most. I'm kind of obsessed with them.

The Scarlet Alchemist by Kylie Lee Baker (CR, 8%)

I haven't read a whole lot of this one yet, but I'm super invested! The magic system completely intrigues me, and Zilan is obviously very competent, which I love. A lot of fantasy novels try to have their main characters be these hyper-competent figures, but I actually feel like Zilan knows what she's doing. Her cousins are also quite interesting, though I don't know much about them.

A Day of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon (CR, 2%)

I've barely started this monster of a book, but I loved Priory and I've heard very good things, so hopefully this will be an amazing read!

[screams-of-laughter]

MAYA HAWKE as SHANNON HAGEL — Human Capital 2019, dir. Marc Meyers

[fuckyeahmarxismleninism]

TRANS DAY OF REMEMBRANCE 2024 - November 20

Say their names:

NOVEMBER 2023

Savannah Williams

Bernardo Panteleon

Pepper Mychel Peterson

Mariah Ruby Rachel Williams

F. L. “Bubba” Copeland

Lola Laperla Ebony McDaniels

Shandon Floyd

Tiesha McFarland

Kejuan Richardson

Amiri Jean Reid

Mya Finch

Travis Stimeling

DECEMBER 2023

Demita Jo Armstrong

Onteris Owens-Campbell

Jesse Viviano White

Star Possum

Jermaine Golden

Meghan Riley Lewis

Zoey Flye

Madison Montana

Care Hansen

Amber Minor

Ashlei Jasmine Colgate-Edwards

Fleetwood Mars Mozee

Shelby “Lexus” Riddick-Walker

Kimbella Blackshear

Easley Jeffcoat

Tripp Schultz

JANUARY 2024

Lady Fabian Sanchez

James Moen

Dana Randolph “Desiree A. DeMornay”

Quin Joy

Sasha Williams

Jennell Jaquays

Sarina Mihailoff

Sasha Washington-Cohen “Sasha Fierce”

Guelila “Gigi” Iyob

Videl Lombardo

Savannah Rose Rivers Amore

Kathy “Otter” Ottersten

Robin Valentina

Forrest Douglas Buckley

Giselle Stone

Tristan Michael Bustos “Tristyn St. Clair”

Kitty Monroe

FEBRUARY 2024

Natalia Skye

Teddy Reese Curran

Erick Krouse

Noah Jackson Chase

Ellie Walsh

Nex Benedict

Emma “África” Parrilla García

Blakely Hanson

Righteous TK “Chevy” Hill

Ashton Myles Clatterbuck

Madison Nicole Spann “Madison St. Claire”

Cecilia Gentili

MARCH 2024

Diamond Cherish Brigman

Elliot Ganiel

Fae Morganna Barbone

Aurelia A. Legassey

Alex Franco

Meraxes Medina

Ty Geissinger “Ty Holiday”

APRIL 2024

Andrea Doria Dos Passos “Maggie”

Yella Clark

Allister Matthews

Tiffany Azalea Monceaux

Tara Fable

Randy Dudley

River Neveah Goddard

Tee “Ace” Arnold

George A. Schappell

Starr Brown

Robbi Mecus

Basil Brown

MAY 2024

Tayy Dior Thomas

Kita Bee

Kamryn “Cantrell” Smith

Jazlynn Johnson

Daelicious O’hare Mizani

Darri C. Moore

Niomi Jenkins

Michelle Henry

Saanti Bonét Valentino

JUNE 2024

Pauly Likens

M. Tapia

Lynn Conway

Liara Kaylee Tsai

JULY 2024

Dylan Gurley

Griffin Shaun Sivret

Kenji Zemonta Spurgeon

Ev Smith

Shannon Boswell

Levi Castillo

Lily Autumn Rose

Monique Brooks

AUGUST 2024

Noelle Woolley

Indiana Grayson

Vanity Williams

Tai’Vion Lathan

Jhzara “Femmie” Williams

Baxter Zachary Hawk

SEPTEMBER 2024

Kassim Omar

Liam Johns

Mahdia Lynn

Cass Trystero

Chilli Pepper

Barbie Iceland “Redd China”

OCTOBER 2024

Honee Daniels

Serenity Birdsong

Adela Vázquez

San Coleman

Zeta Muirgen Seraph Haber

Despite our best efforts, the names on our list are only those who had the privilege of recognition, the fortune of discovery, or the extraordinary courage to leave indelible proof of their true selves for us to mourn. So many unknown and uncounted people remain that even years from now we will learn the names of people in our community who died this year without the recognition they deserved.

https://www.transremembrance.org/domestic-list

[notthesomefather]

Goddess Hel, divine hostess whose arms lovingly embrace all guests, Watch over those who have crossed your gates against their will. Care for those taken from us and bless them with tranquil rest.

Godx Loki, story-teller and guardian of outcasts, Give words to our sorrow so that we may honor their memories. Breathe air into our lungs so we may bellow our love over hatred.

Goddess Hel, cherisher of life and daughter of metamorphosis, Bestow in their loved ones moments of laughter, healing, and peace. May their names echo not just in sorrow but in smiling remembrance.

Godx Loki, change-bringer and waker of revolution, Spark the flames of unrelenting authenticity within us. Stoke the ember of truth until the hateful are blinded by its light.

Under the cut are the siblings, youth, and elders whose lives were taken due to hatred, bigotry, and fear. I understand it is incredibly triggering, but I believe we owe it to them to read their names.

We love you. We are unendingly sorry and we will never stop fighting until the hatred that stole you from this life has been extinguished. We love you so much.

(December 2023 - November 2024) Savannah Williams Bernardo Panteleon Pepper Mychel Peterson Mariah Ruby Rachel Williams F. L. “Bubba” Copeland Lola Laperla Ebony McDaniels Shandon Floyd Tiesha McFarland Kejuan Richardson Amiri Jean Reid Mya Finch Travis Stimeling Demita Jo Armstrong Onteris Owens-Campbell Jesse Viviano White Star Possum Jermaine Golden Meghan Riley Lewis Zoey Flye Madison Montana Care Hansen Amber Minor Ashlei Jasmine Colgate-Edwards Fleetwood Mars Mozee Shelby “Lexus” Riddick-Walker Kimbella Blackshear Easley Jeffcoat Tripp Schultz Lady Fabian Sanchez James Moen Dana Randolph “Desiree A. DeMornay” Quin Joy Sasha Williams Jennell Jaquays Sarina Mihailoff Sasha Washington-Cohen “Sasha Fierce” Guelila “Gigi” Iyob Videl Lombardo Savannah Rose Rivers Amore Kathy “Otter” Ottersten Robin Valentina Forrest Douglas Buckley Giselle Stone Tristan Michael Bustos “Tristyn St. Clair” Kitty Monroe Natalia Skye Teddy Reese Curran Erick Krouse Noah Jackson Chase Ellie Walsh Nex Benedict Emma “África” Parrilla García Blakely Hanson Righteous TK “Chevy” Hill Ashton Myles Clatterbuck Madison Nicole Spann “Madison St. Claire” Cecilia Gentili Diamond Cherish Brigman Elliot Ganiel Fae Morganna Barbone Aurelia A. Legassey Alex Franco Meraxes Medina Ty Geissinger “Ty Holiday” Andrea Doria Dos Passos “Maggie” Yella Clark Allister Matthews Tiffany Azalea Monceaux Tara Fable Randy Dudley River Neveah Goddard Tee “Ace” Arnold George A. Schappell Starr Brown Robbi Mecus Basil Brown Tayy Dior Thomas Kita Bee Kamryn “Cantrell” Smith Jazlynn Johnson Daelicious O’hare Mizani Darri C. Moore Niomi Jenkins Michelle Henry Saanti Bonét Valentino Pauly Likens M. Tapia Lynn Conway Liara Kaylee Tsai Dylan Gurley Griffin Shaun Sivret Kenji Zemonta Spurgeon Ev Smith Shannon Boswell Levi Castillo Lily Autumn Rose Monique Brooks Noelle Woolley Indiana Grayson Vanity Williams Tai’Vion Lathan Jhzara “Femmie” Williams Baxter Zachary Hawk Kassim Omar Liam Johns Mahdia Lynn Cass Trystero Chilli Pepper Barbie Iceland “Redd China” Honee Daniels Serenity Birdsong Adela Vázquez San Coleman Zeta Muirgen Seraph Haber

[stranger-detective]

I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT MOST OF THESE

LOVE THEM ALL!!!!!

LGBTQ actors in Stranger Things you will always be famous!!!

[wrongroup]

Robby Keene’s cursed blood

It’s only my personal opinion about a silly show and I might be wrong. If Cobra Kai ended with its second season I would probably regard it as some sort of modern day Greek tragedy. But it didn’t. And I believe that the very beginning of its downfall can be attributed to the reintroduction of Kreese back in season 1 finale. Since then the show has kept its downward trajectory, finally getting to all time low with season 6. But while almost every other plotline turns into cheap soap opera, Robby’s story for some inexplicable reason continues to be a great generational tragedy. Johnny’s absence and Shannon’s negligence lead him to the life of crime. Daniel turns on him the second it turns out he’s Johnny’s son. Kreese uses him only as a pawn to get Johnny back. Silver hates him because he is jealous of Johnny’s relationship with Kreese. His rivalry with Miguel was portrayed to be more about Sam but in my opinion it is mostly about Johnny. Even if they won’t ever address it properly in the show itself. Even Hawk’s animosity can be attributed back to when he thought Johnny only got angry with them over the first All Valley because Robby is his son.

Johnny is a product of Cobra Kai philosophy. And even though the show never in any definite terms explores what it actually means it does have both pros and cons beyond it being cool but evil. So Robby being Johnny’s biological son inherited all the bad consequences of such lifestyle. Johnny does something bad and Robby suffers the ramifications for the sole reason of having Johnny’s blood in his veins. Robby commits mistakes of his own obviously but almost all of them are connected to his father in some way or another. And even from the narrative perspective Robby’s whole existence is used in service to either advance or torture Johnny on his way. And in the part 2 of season 6 season Robby is even shaped up to play the same role in Tory’s plotline. 

But Miguel on the other hand has inherited Johnny’s spirit and not his blood. And doesn't have to suffer for too long through any consequences of his own actions while succeeding in pretty much anything he puts his efforts to. I know it is done for plot advancing reasons but at this point it is just getting ridiculous. Johnny’s legacy is split between Robby and Miguel so unfairly. And by the end of the series that difference will be astronomical.

[simeffable]

LOST x The Sims 4: A Project.

UPDATE 12/6/24: This project will now include a save file with a completely customised Sulani. Read more here.

Disclaimer: there is no current end date for this project, as I work 20-30 hours a week and have other responsibilities, but I am hoping it will be available by the end of this year.

The sims I hope to release are as follows (red-complete, green-current WIP, white/black means I haven’t started them yet oops). Any completed items that are not linked will only be available when the entire project is released.

Hurley, Jack, Sawyer, John, Charlie, Jin, Sayid, Desmond, Ben, Richard, Juliet, Kate, Claire, Ana Lucia, Sun, Rose, Bernard, Shannon, Boone, Libby, Eko, Michael, Walt, Penny, Charles (Widmore), Tom Friendly, Keamy, Alex, Rousseau, Miles, Daniel, Charlotte, Radzinsky, Chang, Jacob, MIB (as himself), Mikhail, Karl, Eloise Hawking, Frank Lapidus, Vincent.

The items I hope to release are as follows:

• 2x build buy promotional posters (EA aesthetic w/ English and Simlish swatches)

• Dharma Initiative Jumpsuits (linked)

• Jack’s Tattoos (linked)

• Dharma Initiative branded clutter (including cereal boxes, wine bottles, orientation folders, jared and tinned food, Apollo bars)

• The Swan Station mural.

General Progress/Custom Sulani Save File Progress:

30/6/24: WIP The Flame.

7/7/24: 20/40 sims completed.

1/8/24: 22/40 sims completed, The Flame complete, The Pearl WIP.

18/8/24: 26/40 sims completed.

29/8/24: The Pearl complete.

25/9/24: 32/40 sims complete.

26/9/24: 35/40 sims complete.

7/10/24: ALL SIMS COMPLETE.

———

[sapphicreadsdb]

Hi do you by chance have any sapphic fantasy recs? preferably adult fantasy but YA is fine too

sure! tho this could will get quite long... no links, sorry!, bc it was kicking up a fuss with those for some reason

+ = ya

pennyblade by j.l. worrad

lady hotspur by tessa gratton

sofi and the bone song by adrienne tooley (+)

she who became the sun by shelley parker chan

the scapegracers by h.a. clarke (+)

the third daughter by adrienne tooley (+)

the daughters of izdihar by hadeer elsbai

the malevolent seven by sebastien de castell

blackheart knights by laure eve

the warden by daniel m. ford

the unbroken by c.l. clark

dark earth by rebecca stott

witch king by martha wells

scorpica by g.r. macallister

the mirror empire by kameron hurley

now she is witch by kirsty logan

silverglass by j.f. rivkin

the woman who loved the moon and other stories by elizabeth a. lynn

...(this answer is how i discover there's a character limit per block so. doing this in chunks.)

fire logic by laurie j. marks

a restless truth by freya marske

when angels left the old country by sacha lamb (+)

the traitor baru cormorant by seth dickinson

an archive of brightness by kelsey socha

the bladed faith by david dalglish

the winged histories by sofia samatar

dragonoak by sam farren

the forever sea by joshua phillip johnson

into the broken lands by tanya huff

the jasmine throne by tasha suri

daughter of redwinter by ed mcdonald

the last magician by lisa maxwell (+)

the fire opal mechanism by fran wilde

...

the black coast by mike brooks

high times in the low parliament by kelly robson

foundryside by robert jackson bennett

the enterprise of death by jesse bullington

mamo by sas milledge (+)

from dust, a flame by rebecca podos (+)

uncommon charm by emily bergslien & kat weaver

wild and wicked things by francesca may

the unspoken name by a.k. larkwood

brother red by adrian selby

the final strife by saara el-arifi

way of the argosi by sebastien de castell (+)

the bone shard daughter by andrea stewart

ghost wood song by erica waters (+)

into the crooked place by alexandra christo (+)

ashes of the sun by django wexler

the midnight girls by alicia jasinska (+)

the midnight lie by marie rutkoski (+)

the never tilting world by rin chupeco (+)

water horse by melissa scott

...

a master of djinn by p. djeli clark

the good luck girls by charlotte nicole davis (+)

among thieves by m.j. kuhn

black water sister by zen cho

the velocity of revolution by marshall ryan maresca

sweet & bitter magic by adrienne tooley (+)

the dark tide by alicia jasinska (+)

the library of the unwritten by a.j. hackwith

a dark and hollow star by ashley shuttleworth (+)

the chosen and the beautiful by nghi vo

the councillor by e.j. beaton

these feathered flames by alexandra overy (+)

the factory witches of lowell by c.s. malerich

fireheart tiger by aliette de bodard

...

city of lies by sam hawke

bestiary by k-ming chang

the raven and the reindeer by t. kingfisher

the winter duke by claire eliza bartlett (+)

master of poisons by andrea hairston

the empress of salt and fortune by nghi vo

night flowers shirking from the light of the sun by li xing

down comes the night by allison saft (+)

wench by maxine kaplan (+)

girls made of snow and glass by melissa bashardoust (+)

girls of paper and fire by natasha ngan (+)

the impossible contract by k.a. doore

burning roses by s.l. huang

the house of shattered wings by aliette de bodard

not for use in navigation by iona datt sharma

weak heart by ban gilmartin

girl, serpent, thorn by melissa bashardoust (+)

the devil's blade by mark alder

...

we set the dark on fire by tehlor kay mejia (+)

the true queen by zen cho

moontangled by stephanie burgis

a portable shelter by kirsty logan

sing the four quarters by tanya huff

all the bad apples by moira fowley doyle (+)

the drowning eyes by emily foster

the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon

miranda in milan by katharine duckett

the afterward by e.k. johnston (+)

thorn by anna burke

penhallow amid passing things by iona datt sharma

in the vanishers' palace by aliette de bodard

summer of salt by katrina leno (+)

the gracekeepers by kirsty logan

out of the blue by sophie cameron (+)

black wolves by kate elliott

the circle by sara b. elfgren & mats strandberg (+)

unspoken by sarah rees brennan (+)

thistlefoot by gennarose nethercott

passing strange by ellen klages

(and breathe)

[kendrene]

Hi Dren!! I hope you're doing well :)

For the prompt ask, 20. “It’s late, you should get some sleep.”

When Beatrice wakes up, the battered digital alarm clock Ava bought them second-hand reports it’s 3am. The nest of blankets next to her is warm, but empty. 

Her most recent dream has left a bad taste in her mouth. Her heart in the back of her throat. Adriel swooping in to take Ava away. Beatrice finding her, too late. The Halo — gone. And Ava — dead. 

That’s what has her reaching for the knife she keeps sheatherd under her pillow. What causes her to slide from underneath the covers without making a sound. If Beatrice was being logical about it, she’d admit to being overly cautious. After all, Ava may have gotten up to use the bathroom. But there’s no logic to the fear raking cold claws down her spine, and the dream — the plausibility of it — is still too vivid in her mind.

She can’t discount it.

So, she stalks through the small apartment, takes advantage of all shadows. Shannon taught her how, during her first weeks at Cat’s Cradle. One of the basic lessons, delivered in the dead of night to a class of sleepy girls ripped out of their beds. Beatrice could never forget it. Stood to attention in the moonlit nave of the cathedral, toes curled inward, the soles of her bare feet numbed by the coldness of the marble as Shannon’s voice, a gentle whisper, floated to them from the dark.

She’d explained how to walk in complete silence, talked about the soft trigonometry of shadows. Said that every surface — no matter rain, or shine or starlight — reflects a measurable quantity of light. What materials are used to bend and to absorb it, which pattern and style of clothing is best suited to a mission after dusk.

The theory of it hadn’t seemed hard. The practice — to cross the whole length of the cathedral undetected while senior sisters watched her from above like hawks — was nowhere close to easy.

At the kitchen’s threshold, finally, a sound. 

Beatrice folds her body low, crouches in the rectangle of night projected by the dresser. Extends her hand past its wooden corner, blade tilted just so. Mirrored on the edge of sharp damascus steel, the kitchen looks far away and kind of distorted, but the image is clear enough. The window has been thrown wide open to let sweet summer in, and Ava occupies a chair in front of it, her back to the door.

“Ava, what are you doing? It’s late.” Setting the knife on top of the dresser, Beatrice stands. She deliberately steps on the one floorboard that creaks, hoping Ava won’t startle. “You should get some sleep.”

°I tried.” Ava doesn’t turn. “Couldn’t fall asleep and I didn’t want to bother you. Guess I failed, uh?” 

“You didn’t. I just woke up and I—” I thought I lost you. I thought he’d found us. I was afraid you were gone. Beatrice breathes in. Pushes the words down. “I needed the toilet.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah.” 

“Are you, uh, are you coming back to bed?” 

A breeze works its way into the kitchen, scattering the maps of the area Beatrice had been studying before sleep. While not exactly cold, the wind carries a hint of a bite on its back. It makes her shiver. 

“Not yet.” Ava nods to the square of night framed by the window. “I’ve never seen a sky like this, you know? Had no idea there were so many stars.” 

The note of wonder in her voice draws Beatrice closer. She thinks, for no more than a moment, to the bed, now surely chillier than she’d left it. She could go back to it, she’s tired enough to and morning isn’t far, but the truth is she’s too used to Ava’s body next to hers, to the even breathing in her ear to fall asleep alone. Too fond of Ava’s arms, and the way they sometimes tighten around Bea’s waist in her sleep, like Ava, too, might be afraid of losing her. 

Dragging an empty chair next to Ava’s, she sits down, not quite in Ava’s space, their shoulders almost touching.

Outside the moon is low, so close to the shadowy outlines of the surrounding rooftops Beatrice swears she could simply reach up and touch it. At the end of its waning phase, it is barely a silver thread stitched into the velvet of the night, and the stars shine brighter from its absence. 

Stars. Hundreds, thousands of them. Beatrice hasn’t seen this many in years. Despite Cat’s Cradle vantage point on the hills of Antequera, light pollution from the city muddles the sky a hazy orange, making it much too bright. Only on particularly clear nights does the full spread of the stars appear, and it’s never quite like this. Not this vibrant, or this endless, the void between each pinprick of pulsing light so dark, dark, dark. 

“Do you think that’s where we go when we die?” Ava asks, hushed, causing Beatrice’s shoulders to jump. “I saw it on TV somewhere that the light of the stars is millions of years old by the time it reaches us. Some of the stars we are seeing tonight don’t actually exist anymore. But… what if it were souls, instead? Wouldn’t that be better? Maybe my mom —” Ava’s voice breaks over the word, and Beatrice dares not make a sound. Ava rarely talks about her mother. “I mean, maybe it’s people watching over us, and if souls eventually die, too, then it doesn’t matter, does it? Because they leave their light behind for us.”

Ava’s words, the idea of her dying start an ache somewhere deep in Beatrice’s chest. A pain that grows and grows, until her heart feels too heavy to keep beating against the weight of the sorrow that’s threatening to crush it, until all Beatrice can do is to hold back tears.

Her mind lingers on the brevity of life, on how that life may look sans Ava. An empty house, an emptier bed, nothingness for sky no matter the number of stars dotting it each night.

“Ava…” Ava’s gaze is still upturned, enraptured by the spectacle outside. Beatrice is glad for the respite. At least, the tears tracking down her cheeks will have a chance to dry.

“I know,” Ava rocks the chair back with a laugh that sounds a little wet. “Pretty heretical, right? I’m sure that’s what Mother Superion would say, anyway.”

“I think it’s beautiful, what you said, actually.”

“You do?” Ava half-turns, and in the uncertain glow of starlight she is beautiful, too. 

“Yeah. Um.” Beatrice clears her throat; the lump constricting it gradually softens. “People have imbued the stars with meaning since, well, since the beginning of mankind, I guess. It’s a comfort.”

“It would comfort me to leave a light on for you, after I’m gone.” The chair falls back in place with a thump. Ava pitches sideways, not shoulder to shoulder with Beatrice anymore, but nearly spilling in her lap. Beatrice’s arms automatically tighten around her.  

“You shouldn’t talk like that. You’re not going to die, Ava.” 

“Don’t make promises you know you can’t keep, Sister.” Ava pokes at her arm lightly, as if she knows Beatrice had been about to promise that, exactly. “You’re a nun. Nuns shouldn’t lie.”

“I don’t want you to die,” Beatrice admits aloud for the first time. It shocks her how easy the words come out, but perhaps it’s the fault of the dark and the quiet and an infinite sky full of stars. Nighttime makes everything more intimate, more sacred; this is the hour in which secrets that wouldn’t survive the harsh scrutiny of day can be set loose.

Beatrice almost slips Almost gives tangible form to the three words that have been brewing under her tongue. Seriously considers what might happen if she did. Would it be so bad for Ava to go into this war, knowing that she’s loved? Would it make things better? Worse?

She bites the inside of her cheek and tastes blood.

“I don’t want you to die, Ava.” She says instead. A wish, a hope, a plea to any god that might be listening and not only to her own. “And that’s the truth. Nun’s honor.”

“Good.” Ava snuggles in, face slanting into the crook of Beatrice’s neck. Her nose is icy cold. “Because as much as I don’t mind shining down to you from the sky one day, I like it better here.”

Beatrice rests her chin on the crown of Ava’s head, buries her nose in her hair. She can smell a faint trace of the cheap shampoo they share, and summer, the heat. The stars above them pale, then wink out one by one. Beatrice is glad to see the last one gone.

She likes Ava on this Earth, sleeping soundly in her arms better, too.

[cemeterygrace]

remembering my trans ancestors and those we’ve lost on this trans day of remembrance. they are all so loved by us, and unique in their own ways. fly high and know that you are beloved. for those not on this list, you are known and remembered.

rest in peace and in freedom.

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

NOVEMBER 2023

Savannah Williams

Bernardo Panteleon

Pepper Mychel Peterson

Mariah Ruby Rachel Williams

F. L. “Bubba” Copeland

Lola Laperla Ebony McDaniels

Shandon Floyd

Tiesha McFarland

Kejuan Richardson

Amiri Jean Reid

Mya Finch

Travis Stimeling

DECEMBER 2023

Demita Jo Armstrong

Onteris Owens-Campbell

Jesse Viviano White

Star Possum

Jermaine Golden

Meghan Riley Lewis

Zoey Flye

Madison Montana

Care Hansen

Amber Minor

Ashlei Jasmine Colgate-Edwards

Fleetwood Mars Mozee

Shelby “Lexus” Riddick-Walker

Kimbella Blackshear

Easley Jeffcoat

Tripp Schultz

JANUARY 2024

Lady Fabian Sanchez

James Moen

Dana Randolph “Desiree A. DeMornay”

Quin Joy

Sasha Williams

Jennell Jaquays

Sarina Mihailoff

Sasha Washington-Cohen “Sasha Fierce”

Guelila “Gigi” Iyob

Videl Lombardo

Savannah Rose Rivers Amore

Kathy “Otter” Ottersten

Robin Valentina

Forrest Douglas Buckley

Giselle Stone

Tristan Michael Bustos “Tristyn St. Clair”

Kitty Monroe

FEBRUARY 2024

Natalia Skye

Teddy Reese Curran

Erick Krouse

Noah Jackson Chase

Ellie Walsh

Nex Benedict

Emma “África” Parrilla García

Blakely Hanson

Righteous TK “Chevy” Hill

Ashton Myles Clatterbuck

Madison Nicole Spann “Madison St. Claire”

Cecilia Gentili

MARCH 2024

Diamond Cherish Brigman

Elliot Ganiel

Fae Morganna Barbone

Aurelia A. Legassey

Alex Franco

Meraxes Medina

Ty Geissinger “Ty Holiday”

APRIL 2024

Andrea Doria Dos Passos “Maggie”

Yella Clark

Allister Matthews

Tiffany Azalea Monceaux

Tara Fable

Randy Dudley

River Neveah Goddard

Tee “Ace” Arnold

George A. Schappell

Starr Brown

Robbi Mecus

Basil Brown

MAY 2024

Tayy Dior Thomas

Kita Bee

Kamryn “Cantrell” Smith

Jazlynn Johnson

Daelicious O’hare Mizani

Darri C. Moore

Niomi Jenkins

Michelle Henry

Saanti Bonét Valentino

JUNE 2024

Pauly Likens

M. Tapia

Lynn Conway

Liara Kaylee Tsai

JULY 2024

Dylan Gurley

Griffin Shaun Sivret

Kenji Zemonta Spurgeon

Ev Smith

Shannon Boswell

Levi Castillo

Lily Autumn Rose

Monique Brooks

AUGUST 2024

Noelle Woolley

Indiana Grayson

Vanity Williams

Tai’Vion Lathan

Jhzara “Femmie” Williams

Baxter Zachary Hawk

SEPTEMBER 2024

Kassim Omar

Liam Johns

Mahdia Lynn

Cass Trystero

Chilli Pepper

Barbie Iceland “Redd China”

OCTOBER 2024

Honee Daniels

Serenity Birdsong

Adela Vázquez

San Coleman

Zeta Muirgen Seraph Haber